Today I am 99 days sober.
After one hangover too many I decided to try a 100 day Alcohol Free (AF) challenge.
I’ve been sober-curious for a long time. In fact every single morning I’ve woken up less than fresh I think I’ve considered how much better life would be without drink.
My drinking wasn’t massively out of hand. I didn’t drink often during the week. I’d have a couple on a Saturday night and I loved a Gin and Tonic on a Sunday afternoon. I’d have more if out socialising and was often one of the last standing. I wouldn’t be puking in the corner or starting a fight, but I would be crippled with a hangover and accompanying anxiety the following day.
Like many people, I started drinking more during lockdown. Acceptable drinking times expanded and boundaries blurred. Homeschooling seemed a justifiable reason to have a drink at 5pm on a Tuesday. Kitchen discos were more fun when accompanied by cocktails. Taboos – like drinking alone – became normalised.
It was during COVID that I started to notice the prevalence of alcohol marketing aimed at women like me. Mummy Juice, they call it. (Which, to me, just sounds wrong on all levels!)
The marketing, the media and our culture told us we deserved a drink. As mothers we need wine (gin / cocktails, delete as appropriate) to get through the challenge of parenting. We deserve it! And I bought into it all.
But it didn’t make me a better parent. It made me less present, less real and less connected to the people around me. In reality it didn’t make the pandemic any easier.
For a long time I felt the strain of trying to be 2 slightly different people. I’m a yoga teacher, I practice mindfulness. I meditate. I don’t eat meat. These things are important to me.
I’m also a self professed party animal. I have a rebellious streak and don’t like to follow the rules. I love strong cocktails and dancing on bars. I like the hilarity of being tipsy. It takes the edge of my social anxiety and helps me feel confident.
These were some of the things that led me to explore 100 day challenge. How can I be as fun, as confident, as relaxed without the aid of a drink?
A part of me believed not drinking would solve all my problems – which of course it didn’t. (One being that I’d have more time and do more writing , but here I am 99 days in and this is the first time I’ve managed to write this!).
But I do definitely feel better for it, and I’d definitely recommend the challenge for anyone exploring their drinking habits. There were a few real challenges – going away for a weekend, having friends round for food – and I know I definitely avoided some social situations to avoid the temptation. One thing I have loved is not having to decide whether to drink or not – the decision fatigue is real!
I’ve enjoyed more energy, less anxiety, feeling more able to cope with life, brighter eyes, better sleep, NO MORE HANGOVERS!!!!!!. In general being more present, which was a huge one for me. To be honest it’s little differences but they add up.
So my current question is WHAT NEXT?
I’ll be really honest – a huge part of me wants to keep going, but another side is so looking forward to a few festive tipples. Maybe some champagne or a cocktail made with amaretto served in a crystal glass, perfectly chilled.
I’m trying to change the mindset that things are better with an alcoholic drink, because deep down I don’t think it’s true. I know that sunset on holiday is just as gorgeous without the sundowner to accompany it. I know opening the presents on Christmas day is just as wondrous without a glass of champagne.
But I’m not there yet.
The wise amongst you will mention balance and moderation and I agree. I know lots of people who achieve this beautifully. I know lots of people who drink so moderately they probably wouldn’t notice 100 days! But I also know how easy it is for drinking habits to creep up, and I know all about the eternal one more for the road (or the ditch). I know when I wake up hungover on a Sunday morning I’m not achieving that moderation.
Probably Christmas isn’t the best time to start but if this resonates with you, keep it in mind for January (ha ha, here’s me thinking I’m inventing Dry January!). I’m glad I did longer than a month as I do think it took a bit longer to really feel the benefits! If you’d like any practical advice or I’m happy to give you any tips I picked up, although I’m definitely not an expert!
Would love to hear from anyone else considering this, having tried it, or having given up altogether. I think it’s a conversation worth having!